‘Tis the season to be jolly. But unfortunately for many, the holiday season is the opposite, bringing strong feelings of loneliness, isolation, and even depression. The “holiday blues” is a common problem that can be brought on by a myriad triggers, say experts.
“The holidays can be stressful due to financial problems because people tend to spend too much money on presents. There are also grief issues because they recall previous holidays with a deceased loved ones,” says Dr. Laura Umfer, a licensed psychologist in Tampa, Fla.
“If someone just got divorced, they might feel lonelier and be more depressed during the holidays. People who are isolated are constantly reminded of it during the holidays, which is supposed to be a time of shared joy. Stress also comes from family pressure for people to appear perfect in terms of cooking, decorating, buying gifts, etc.” Dr. Umfer tells Newsmax Health.
Fortunately, there are proactive steps you can take to fight the holiday blues and go sailing smoothly into the New Year.
Write down what you are feeling. “You need to admit to yourself you are feeling bad,” said Dr. Umfer. Spending 15 minutes a day journaling your thoughts and emotions can help you confront your sadness.
Counter the negative. “You want to avoid the self-deprecating thoughts that surface. For every negative thought you have, say three positive things to yourself. They can be unrelated. The point is to refocus. If you’re thinking about what you don’t have, instead think of what you do have. That helps get you thinking rationally again,” Dr. Umfer says.
Stick to a budget. “In these bad economic times, people can feel overwhelmed by the cost of gifts, meals, and drinks, and they can feel angry or embarrassed for worrying about the cost,” says Dr. Judith Gulko, a psychologist in Coral Springs, Fla., who specializes in healing depression.
Decide on what your budget is before you go shopping for gifts and food for holiday feasts. Don’t feel like you have to buy expensive gifts to make your friends and family happy. There are plenty of homemade alternatives that show you care just as much as their store-bought counterparts.
Surround yourself with support. Regardless of the season, it is important to have social support during tough times. “Finding support through a religious organization, doing volunteer work, or joining a support group if you feel socially isolated can all be beneficial,” Dr. Umfer says. Adds Dr. Gulko: “When you are down, you may dread going out or being with others, but usually at some point when you are there, you know you are better off. You feel better when you get home. It is often the anticipation of doing something that makes us anxious.”
Seek help. If your feelings of sadness and/or anxiety are overwhelming to the point that they interfere with your daily activities, it may be time to seek professional help. Consider seeking a therapist to help you through this rough patch. “If you are engaging in destructive habits like self-medicating with food or alcohol, it is time to seek therapy. Anyone can be helped by therapy, even if it is just for a brief amount of time to learn some coping skills,” Dr. Umfer says.
Avoid negative people. This can mean avoiding toxic family members. “Spend as little time as you can with people who make you feel bad,” said Dr. Umfer. “Spouses can benefit from sitting down and having a talk about ways to support each other and understand what their stressors are.” It is unrealistic that you will be able to avoid all sources of negativity during the holidays, so Umfer suggests learning soothing self-talk and learning how to deep breath. “We can’t change people, only ourselves and our perceptions.”
Avoid drinking too much. It’s easy to over imbibe at holiday parties, but alcohol is a depressant and can make your feelings of anxiety and depression worse. Try to drink in moderation.
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